Sunday, May 8, 2011

Two Very Short Flash Stories

Here are a couple of microfiction stories. They are VERY short - written to meet the 100 word limit on stories at Flashshot.

The first story was actually published at Flashshot, but it went up right around when my father died this past fall, and I completely missed it when it was on line.
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MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER

by Camille LaGuire

THE BODY LAY beside the lectern, dead of three gunshot wounds. Overhead a banner proclaimed "No One's a Loser - Your Path to Success and Happiness."

"He called ME a loser," said his wife. "You should have heard him. The man who encouraged everyone else! He never had a single nice thing to say to me. Then he said he was leaving me for that bimbo."

She sniffed and looked into the detective's eyes.

"For the first time, he said something that really motivated me."

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THE CORONER'S LINE
by Camille LaGuire

DETECTIVE WINSTON WAS gorgeous. The Coroner was completely smitten with her, but she was always all business. He could never think of anything to say. He'd get his nerve up, but then he'd just say, "Where's your corpse?"

She pointed him to the bag. He noted that the hands were bagged, the clothing preserved properly. Oh, and there such interesting bruising, and that wound on the forehead....

"I'd like you compliment you on your body," said the coroner. "I hope you will feel free to hold it against me."

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Yeah, yeah. Bad jokes are all very suited to the ultra short microfiction. I won't be doing a Story Notes on this one, though.

Tomorrow, I'll post a call for beta readers for my work-in-progress. If you think you might be interested in reading The Man Who Did Too Much before publication, check out the info page (where the beginning is available for download -- 5 chapters, 15,000 words or about 40-50 pages).

2 comments:

Summer Ross said...

I liked the first one more than the second one- In the second one you used "say" to often in the beginning, perhaps a different word would suit the story better for one of them.

Thanks for posting I enjoyed the read.

The Daring Novelist said...

You caught me. The second one didn't feel right, and I did a quick rewrite of the opening before posting - so it was decidedly less polished.